My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
