Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
