just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
