I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
