i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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