We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
