I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
