it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
