if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
