its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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