Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
