This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
