they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
