just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
