I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
