don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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