i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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