Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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