Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
