Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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