GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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