Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
