tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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