what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
