you mean i was at the winter classic?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
