I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
