Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
