She said her name was "party"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
