i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
