i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
