i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
