shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
