The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
