is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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