Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
