Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Holy sore nipples Batman
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
