JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
