You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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