Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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