When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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