Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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