is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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