So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
