Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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