My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
