Define "chronic" masturbator.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
