dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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