at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
