I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
