Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
