I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
