sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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